Agree to Disagree: So Much Easier Said Than Done

What do you do when your family doesn’t like the way you choose to raise your child? “Stay calm and agree to disagree”. So much easier said than done.

Anyone who is living a daily struggle whether it is with a spouse, an in-law or a parent who strongly disagrees about a certain way of conduct he/she follows in raising a child knows for sure that it is so hard to just stay calm and distance yourself from other people’s criticism. This is even harder when the criticism is destructive or hallow with no purpose but to scatter doubt and guilt where you need them both the least.

From the day a couple knows they are expecting, and even longer before for some, mommies and daddies begin to establish, even if it’s just in their mind, some pedagogical basics they wish to follow bringing up their los.

If many couples should agree easily on the basic elements of education, since this is an important and essential subject that should have been frequently discussed before the decision of having a baby is made, the real backlash often occurs with the grandparents to be. As science keeps improving and new discoveries regarding child development are made daily, the generation gap and lack of information rarely keeps room for agreement and consensus. From feeding, to bathing, to changing diapers and supporting a child throughout his milestones, all the hows and whys seem to be different today from what they were yesterday. And as you dig your way through parenting, you may often find yourself defending your merits as a new mother or father hanging on tooth and nail to your well-researched well-informed yet mostly disturbing and worrying decisions. Because when you’re a new parent, in your mind, every decision seems to be the most important decision in the world and every step forward could be the one that will change your child’s future forever. And through this all, are you really expected to just stay calm and agree to disagree when someone comes to throw stones at your little house of glass?

As a human being, I think it is only fair to allow parents to lose their calm from time to time, as it is not easy being constantly under so much stress and going through so many changes in such a little time. Just a little advice, make sure to cover your head very well as they get ready to explode and burst! The damage might be greater than any of us could ever expect.


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